1 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,751 Morning, Mrs Patterson. 2 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,791 Is my shopping ready? 3 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,831 Yes, it is. 4 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,155 Except for the royal game soup. We haven't got any of that, dear. 5 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,476 Why not? There's no call for it. 6 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,557 Of course there is. I called for it. 7 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,591 We can't cater for singular tastes. 8 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,438 That's £5.37, in all. 9 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,471 And a large bloomer, please. 10 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,511 One large bloomer. 11 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,836 That's £5.37 plus 22p, 12 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,315 that's er... £5.64. 13 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,351 Are you sure? 14 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,799 £5.64. 15 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,556 I'l add it all up again if you like, dear. 16 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,557 No, don't bother. What about the sherry? 17 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,591 Oh, I have to take separate for that. 18 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,631 £5.64. 19 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,671 Six pounds. 20 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,711 That's... 21 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,751 36p change. 22 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,360 Thank you. Oh, the sherry. 23 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,911 There we are. That's £1.72, please. 24 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,519 And a ninepenny stamp, please. 25 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,439 You'll have to go to the post office for that, dear. 26 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,834 This is the post office. 27 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,679 No, dear, this is the off-licence. Post office is over there. 28 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,551 So, £1.72... 29 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,591 two pounds... 30 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:12,473 that's 26p change. 31 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,672 -28p. -Is it? 32 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,710 Yes. 33 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,751 Ooh, that'll be another 2p, then. 34 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,634 What was the other thing? A ninepenny stamp. 35 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,956 And I'll pay for my papers while I'm here. 36 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,991 No, have to take separate for that. 37 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,112 There you are, dear. 38 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,232 Honestly. The price of ninepenny stamps these days. 39 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,396 They've always been 9p, dear. 40 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,035 Nine pence. A pea is a little green vegetable that grows in a pod. 41 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,751 Now, may I pay for my papers, Mrs P? 42 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,791 1p change. 43 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,794 Let's see, it's Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton from the Manor, isn't it? 44 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,911 No, from the old lodge, regrettably. 45 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,191 Still Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton, though? Most certainly. 46 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,038 Regrettably. 47 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,071 What was that? 48 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,111 How are you finding the old lodge? 49 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,878 Very small. 50 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,038 There's a nice man up the Manor now - Mr DeVere. 51 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,311 Gets his cigars here, specially ordered. They've just come in. 52 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,510 I thought you couldn't cater for singular tastes. 53 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,551 I have to think of my profit, dear. 54 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,912 I mean, there's a difference between one tin of game soup and a box of Havanas. 55 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,591 That's £2.40 for the papers. 56 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,553 As much as that? You haven't paid for three weeks. 57 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,671 Three pounds. 58 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,711 £2.40, that's... 59 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,671 60 pence change. 60 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,236 No, dear, I forgot to add the delivery charge, so that's exactly right. 61 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,351 Very nice man, Mr DeVere. 62 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,995 (Laughs) They say he's knocking hell out of the Manor. 63 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,429 Is he, indeed? How much is this breaded ham? 64 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,950 Not for sale, dear. I'm keeping that back for Mrs Cartwright. 65 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,038 Linda's mother? Young Linda's calling for it later on. 66 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,753 But Linda is my domestic. 67 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,599 We're all supposed to be equal now, dear, aren't we? 68 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,630 (Shop bell) 69 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,671 Oh, hello! Fancy seeing you here. 70 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,109 Good morning, Mr DeVere. Good morning. 71 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,118 Mr DeVere. Your cigars have arrived, sir. 72 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,151 And your Horse and Hound. 73 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,272 Oh, thank you. Horse and Hound! I'd no idea you hunted. 74 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,834 Oh, yes! Hunting and shooting and fishing, what! 75 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,635 It's expected of the squire, don't you know? I'd better pay you, Mrs Patterson. 76 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,240 Oh, any time, sir. No hurry. 77 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,554 Oh. 78 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,793 Are you walking? 79 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,831 So I am. I wondered what I was doing. 80 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,158 Look at this. Who'd have thought you could find something like this in the village? 81 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,191 Can I offer you a lift? 82 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,754 Well, if it's not taking you out of your way... 83 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,234 Hardly, I live next door. 84 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,351 I know, Mr DeVere. Believe me, I know. 85 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,191 Put this in here. Thank you. 86 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,191 There we are. Thank you. 87 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,591 You're very quiet. 88 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,631 Is something bothering you? 89 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,956 Only the injustices of life, that's all. 90 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,195 Hm. 91 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,153 I must say, I'm surprised you have to do your own shopping. 92 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,318 The girl who usually does it is taking my typing course. 93 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,796 Yes, I saw your advertisement. I notice you didn't apply. 94 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,229 I wasn't brought up to do that sort of thing. 95 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,271 (Chuckles) Well, we'll train you. 96 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,837 I'm going to need every good secretary I can get when my business gets going here. 97 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,349 This is not Threadneedle Street, Mr DeVere. 98 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,512 I thought you'd be pleased. I'm bringing wealth to an underprivileged area. 99 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,354 Who is the girl you're sending on this typing course? 100 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,391 Linda Cartwright, the horsey one. 101 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,431 She works for you? Yes. 102 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,677 General domestic, does my shopping, that sort of thing. 103 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,033 Who does your shopping? 104 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,071 Linda Cartwright used to do it. 105 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,679 Oh. 106 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,996 I'm sorry, I didn't know. She didn't say. 107 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,553 No, she wouldn't. 108 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,274 I expect you're paying her far more than I could. 109 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,630 I'll send her back. I won't accept her. 110 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,559 Anyway, she probably belongs to NUDE or some such thing. 111 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,590 NUDE? 112 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,836 National Union of Domestic Employees. 113 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,269 You'll have them picketing your bathroom. 114 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,831 I really am terribly sorry. She isn't that good, anyway. 115 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,078 My mother always said you could tell a hard-working domestic by her knees. 116 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,111 If they were worn, employ her. 117 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,231 I have my doubts about Linda's knees. 118 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,271 I didn't notice her knees. 119 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,792 Nice legs, though. 120 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,113 I'm told you're busy knocking hell out of the Manor. 121 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,833 Nothing drastic. 122 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,871 I'm leaving the foundations. 123 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,871 No, I'm just making the old study into my office, that's all. 124 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,558 We call it functionalising. 125 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,273 Yes, you would. 126 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,311 And there'll be a few other changes. 127 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,874 You'd be surprised how well the computer bank 128 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,117 blends in with the fruitwood panelling in the ballroom. 129 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,311 It's all right, I'm only joking. 130 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,953 Really? 131 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,752 A horse. 132 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,791 What? A horse, slow down. 133 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,398 Slower, snail's pace. 134 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,431 You're in the country now. 135 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:45,873 We don't roar past horses at 90 miles an hour here, honking our Colonel Bogey hooters. 136 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,159 Who is the girl you're sending on this typing course? 137 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,397 Linda Cartwright, the girl who used to do your shopping. 138 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,351 Linda Cartwright. 139 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,391 And who was that girl on the horse? 140 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,071 BOTH: Linda Cartwright. 141 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,111 Yes, I noticed the knees. 142 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,915 Thank you. You didn't play with the gadgets. 143 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,679 Gadgets? Yes, you didn't touch the reclining seats 144 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,076 or use the electric windows, or even ask me to make a phone call. 145 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,111 I do have a Rolls of my own, you know. 146 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,276 Yes, I've seen it. Is it still running? 147 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,552 Thank you, Mr DeVere. 148 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,591 See you around. 149 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,318 Mr...DeVere... 150 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,551 Oh, well. 151 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,398 Mine, I think. 152 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,351 Brabinger? Coming, madam. 153 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,191 What on earth's going on? 154 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,231 I'm doing the rewiring, madam. 155 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,078 With a pigeon? 156 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,192 No, madam, I found it floating in the water tank. 157 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,311 Eurgh! My bath water comes from that. 158 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:11,797 I washed in that, I've drunk it. I've even arranged flowers in that water. 159 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,831 I thought they lasted longer. 160 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,111 That is not funny, Brabinger. 161 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:21,154 May I remind you, you are still downstairs, even though you live upstairs? 162 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,032 Anyway, we've had the place rewired. 163 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,071 But this is my system, madam. 164 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,111 Permit me to demonstrate. 165 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,311 There you are, madam. 166 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,351 Most impressive, Brabinger! 167 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,869 What is it? It's a bell indicator, madam. 168 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,560 Does it work? But of course, madam. 169 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,591 Now, I will ring the front door bell, 170 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,678 while you, madam, put yourself in my position. 171 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,991 Excuse the expression. You mean I stand here watching that thing? 172 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,633 Just so. 173 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,639 (Buzzer) 174 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,477 Did you see, madam? 175 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:05,309 Yes, I did. If I'd been in your position, I would've gone to the conservatory. 176 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,431 Crossed wires, no doubt. 177 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,676 Brabinger, we haven't got a conservatory. 178 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,997 I'l just have to do a little fiddling in the junction box. 179 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,637 We have enough wires to put a bell push in every room, madam, including the bathroom. 180 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,593 I can't think why I should want to summon you to the bathroom. 181 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,438 (Buzzer) 182 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,869 Someone wants you in Bedroom 5, Brabinger. 183 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,111 Teething trouble, madam. 184 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,594 Ah, Miss Frobisher. 185 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,597 What's she doing in Bedroom 5? 186 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,631 Back door, madam. 187 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,991 Hello. Hello, Marjory. 188 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,600 What's that pigeon doing? I found it... 189 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,677 Brabinger shot it, didn't you? 190 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,757 If you say so, madam. I's sopping wet. 191 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,791 He was using a water pistol. 192 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,991 Good shot, Brabinger. 193 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:57,830 Marjory, fight your way through to the drawing room. I've got some things to tell you. 194 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,712 Yes, right. 195 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,957 First, Brabinger, I want you to run every tap in the house 196 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,470 until the water in that tank has been changed at least three times. 197 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,150 Yes, madam. -Then get something I forgot when I drove back. 198 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,669 Yes, madam. What is it? The car. 199 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,631 Whatever's happening at the Manor? 200 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,909 So, it's true. 201 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,759 The wretched man is knocking hell out of the place. 202 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:26,636 Perhaps he's seeing to the dry rot and the rising damp and the death-watch beetle. 203 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,830 No, Marjory, he is func-tionalise-ising. 204 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,918 I don't know what that means, but it's bound to be flashy and vulgar. 205 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:36,352 If it deals with the dry rot and the rising damp, and the death-watch beetle... 206 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,678 I hope you're not standing up for him? Yes, I don't think he's as bad as you make out. 207 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,869 No? 208 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,513 Then answer me this. 209 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,756 I don't mind having to move here. 210 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,791 I can learn to live in this shoe box. 211 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,832 I can put up with having to turn a corner every two feet 212 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,679 and treading in Bertie's bowl every five minutes. 213 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:58,271 But I resent DeVere running off with my domestics and telling me to become a typist 214 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,199 and getting credit from Mrs Patterson when I have to pay cash 215 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,631 and put up with her calling me "dear" and telling me we're all equal now. 216 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,991 On top of that, she gives DeVere a breaded ham I wanted to buy 217 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,680 which she was saving for Linda Cartwright's mother. 218 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,429 The whole fabric of society's becoming irreparably unstitched. 219 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,709 Well? 220 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,751 What was the question again? 221 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,516 I've forgotten. But you know how I feel. 222 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:26,758 After all, I want to get on with him. But how can I when he patronises me? 223 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,791 I'm sure he doesn't mean to, Aud. 224 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,434 Isn't this you at Badminton? Mm, yes, it is. 225 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,950 I didn't know you had this. Brabinger found it when we unpacked. 226 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,037 Isn't that the Queen you're talking to? 227 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,076 Yes, so it is. I remember, she was there. 228 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,718 Aren't you going to put it up? 229 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,239 I don't want to be ostentatious. 230 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,920 And I can't find anywhere suitable. The mantelpiece? 231 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,758 You won't get it on that little thing. 232 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,316 That was designed for people who expected no more than a get-well card. 233 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,759 Now what's he up to? 234 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,869 I don't believe it! What's happened now? 235 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,676 DeVere is throwing out that lovely old fireplace from Marton's study. 236 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,997 Aud, what a whopper! You've always hated that fireplace. 237 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,190 This is too much, he has to be stopped. 238 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,074 It was put there in the war to cover up the big hearth during the fuel shortage. 239 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:17,239 That's not the point. The other week, you said it how ugly it was. 240 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,638 Of course, I know that. But does he? I doubt if he could tell a good fireplace from Adam. 241 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,671 I'm going to go and have words. 242 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,711 Golly, Aud. Ring for Brabinger. 243 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,673 What? Well, he told me he's put bells everywhere. 244 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,154 Oh, Brabinger, I can't find the bell anywhere. 245 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,191 It's here, madam. 246 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,231 You rang, madam? 247 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,238 Yes, Brabinger. 248 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,591 I am going across to the Manor so lunch will be a little late. 249 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,631 You will stay, won't you, Marjory? 250 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,751 We've got a rather good breaded ham. 251 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,271 (Knock at door) 252 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,311 Mrs Fforbes is here. 253 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,430 Oh. 254 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,471 Well, show her in. 255 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,674 I hope you enjoyed your typing lesson, Linda. 256 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,711 Exhausting, was it? Yes, ma'am. 257 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,354 I'm not surprised, you were sitting all wrong. 258 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,392 The cover to the nose bands goes under the side strap. 259 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,431 And the bit was far too low. 260 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,110 But I expect that'll be the next lesson in Mr DeVere's typing course. 261 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,150 Yes, ma'am. 262 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,396 Are you sure you wouldn't like her back? 263 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,159 No, thank you, she's your domestic problem now. 264 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,191 This is an unexpected pleasure. 265 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,153 Not for me. I've come to see what's left of our house. 266 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,191 It's still standing. Only just. 267 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,232 I see what you mean about bringing wealth to the area. 268 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,954 I suppose this is where you'll be bringing it to? 269 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:40,030 A genuine old Chubb, circa 1977. 270 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,037 Doubtless the work of the great Otto Chubb of Heidelberg, 271 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,276 cabinet makers to the gnomes of Zurich. 272 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,192 It's just a safe. You'll hardly notice it when it's finished. 273 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:54,154 Of course not. And it's so much more elegant than an antique Adam fireplace. 274 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,113 I wouldn't say that. Then why did you throw it out? 275 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,559 Oh. 276 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,716 I thought it was just an old fireplace. 277 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,751 Just an old fireplace? 278 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,077 Don't you realise you are throwing away the nation's heritage? 279 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,509 It didn't belong to the nation, it was mine. 280 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,551 Even so, it was a valuable piece. 281 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,912 And it's better than the one I've got in my drawing room. I can't get a horse on that. 282 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,679 Why are you keeping horses in your drawing room? 283 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,711 A picture of a horse... 284 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,751 and me...and the Queen. 285 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,791 The Queen? 286 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,719 Oh, hello, Mrs Poo. Did you say the Queen? 287 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,993 Yes, it's just a little memento of the time I won the cross-country at Badminton. 288 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,235 I never talk about it. 289 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,194 Oh, what a lovely thing to have on your mantelpiece! 290 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,231 That's just it, Mrs Poo. 291 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,271 My mantelpiece isn't large enough. 292 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,799 My picture deserves a more elegant mantelpiece. 293 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,071 Like the one your son has seen fit to throw on the scrapheap. 294 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,634 Oh, Bedrich, ring for the girl. 295 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,036 We would like something to drink. Please don't trouble. 296 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,357 No need to drink a loyal toast every time someone mentions royalty. 297 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,391 I insist. 298 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,239 And Bedrich needs your advice. 299 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,351 I know, Mrs Poo, but he never takes it. 300 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,391 This time, he will. 301 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,193 He wants to buy a horse. Just one? 302 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,039 To start with. I'm going to the dealer's tomorrow. 303 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,392 I would be very grateful if you'd come with me and give me the benefit of your experience. 304 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,033 But why me? 305 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,596 Because you and the Queen know about horses and he doesn't. 306 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,791 Bedrich, ring the bell. 307 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,831 I have. Well, ring it again. 308 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:30,829 Of course, I'm very flattered, but I don't see why he should need any help. 309 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,510 I want him to have a test drive before he buys. 310 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,111 Surely you can handle that? 311 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,436 Well, no, as a matter of fact, I couldn't. 312 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,960 He's never been on a horse in his life. 313 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,630 To tell you the truth, I'm scared stiff of the bloody things. 314 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,671 Bedrich, manners! 315 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,031 Where is that girl? 316 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,596 I like to be in control, you see. Horses aren't the same as cars. 317 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,154 True, you can't make phone calls from a horse. 318 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,557 So would you come with me tomorrow? 319 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,591 Please? I'd be delighted. 320 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,153 Let's drink to that. 321 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,913 Did you have any trouble with the bells when you lived here? 322 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,271 None at all. But if you will pull the house to p... Oh, my God. 323 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,233 I've just thought of something. About the bells? 324 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,477 I've just thought that I've got a guest coming for lunch. 325 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,638 Will you excuse me? I'm so sorry, but I really must dash. 326 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:25,150 What time tomorrow? Give me a ring...on the phone, that is. 327 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,554 Goodbye. 328 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,591 Such a lady. 329 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,195 To think she has the Queen on her mantelpiece! 330 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,191 So what? So what? 331 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,629 So what have you got over your mantelpiece? 332 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,911 Just some old painting you found somewhere. 333 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,951 Yes, Sotheby's. 334 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,594 Bedrich, I've got an idea. 335 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,317 Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton is doing something for you. 336 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,637 Now, maybe you can do something for her, 337 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,398 and for the Queen. 338 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,839 The Queen? 339 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,998 She's always saying that her mantelpiece is too small. 340 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,231 Well, why don't you give her the one you took out of there? 341 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,799 Do you know, Mother, that's a very good idea. 342 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,353 Brabinger? 343 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,596 I want a word about your bell indicator. 344 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:21,555 It didn't occur to me to ask where you got it from, but the bells at the Manor aren't functioning. 345 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,271 What on earth have you two been up to? 346 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,834 I was fitting a bell mounting beside the fire. 347 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:30,271 While he was drilling... The whole fireplace collapsed! 348 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,510 Brabinger, you will shortly be joining the ranks of the unemployed. 349 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,471 No, wait, Aud. 350 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:41,276 Underneath that horrid fireplace is a real Portland stone hearth. It's beautiful! 351 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,960 Oh, yes! It is beautiful. 352 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,276 The old one came apart in my hands, madam. 353 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,391 It must've been blocked up during the war. 354 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,229 I've cleared up the mess. We'll have it in working order in no time. 355 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,399 If anyone mentions bell indicators to me, I shall say I've never seen one. 356 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,238 I never have until today. 357 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,396 Thank you, madam. The chimney's open. 358 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,431 I wonder if it should be swept. 359 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,960 Brabinger! 360 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,351 Good shot, Brabinger. 361 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,755 He's having quite a good bag today, isn't he? 362 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,873 Stay there. 363 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,671 Mr DeVere? Mr Trotter, isn't it? 364 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,711 Correct. Mrs DeVere? 365 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,671 Let's see, a hunter, wasn't it? 366 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,711 We're hoping it still is. 367 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,433 (Horse whinnies) 368 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,154 What sort of price? Oh, price isn't important. 369 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,033 Bring out Plymouth's Rock. 370 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,434 (Horse whinnies) 371 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,472 Intermediate eventer, this. Perfect confirmation. 372 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,511 Mouth like felt. 373 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,551 A snip at 5,000. 374 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,511 Well, er...what do you think? 375 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,871 If he's showing us the top half, the snag will be down below. 376 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,796 I'm looking for a horse, not a cleaner. 377 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,878 Bowed tendon. 378 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,911 Mr Trotter, has this horse been fired? 379 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,951 Not as far as I know, ma'am. 380 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,311 Genuine animal, this. Good few seasons left in this horse. 381 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,715 Yes pantomime seasons. 382 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,791 What else have you got? 383 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,191 What do you think of Fearless? 384 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,231 Seems very pleasant. 385 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,679 3,000 to you. 386 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,599 This horse wasn't broken fill it was five years old. 387 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,439 I've seen him clear a five-foot fence out of a trot. 388 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,471 Haven't you, Fearless? 389 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,511 Well, what do you say? No. 390 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,591 What was wrong with it? The name. 391 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,793 He's called Fearless because Trotter knows damn well he's an absolute coward. 392 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,160 It's an old trick. 393 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,716 If anyone ever offers you a horse called Utter Rubbish, buy it. 394 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,478 Mr Trotter, we're looking for something suitable for someone to learn on. 395 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,994 Who exactly is this horse for, ma'am? 396 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,031 Is it for yourself? Yes, it is. 397 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,792 What weight would you say? About 15 stone. 398 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,231 Bring out Goliath. 399 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,271 I think this horse will suit. 400 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,072 Real good Christian, this. 401 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,631 Looks impressive, doesn't he? 402 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,911 No bone, big body and the legs aren't strong enough for it. 403 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,840 Could have done with this horse at Cheltenham a couple of years back. 404 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,070 Yes. I'm sure you'd have got a much better view of the course. 405 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,269 What about that horse? 406 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,119 No, that's not really what I'd call a horse, ma'am. 407 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,151 Yes, very nice. 408 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,191 Yes, I think he's just the thing. 409 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,231 Actually, he's my own horse, ma'am. 410 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,669 I wouldn't part with him, not for any price. 411 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,836 How much? He's not for sale, ma'am. 412 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,473 750. Sold. 413 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:18,590 Well, I make it that I owe you £4,250. 414 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,233 (Laughs) Don't be silly. 415 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,669 You saved me a lot of money and bought me a good horse. 416 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,711 True. You'll be all right on him. 417 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,957 No neuroses and he'll stay sound. Last you for ages. 418 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,277 I wouldn't have been any the wiser if you'd bought me an old boneshaker 419 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,472 with dodgy front legs which threw me, then bit me on the way down. 420 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,151 How do you know I haven't? 421 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,475 Trust. 422 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,670 After all, we have to live with each other. 423 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,075 Well, near each other. 424 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:51,990 You know it's quite extraordinary that that safe seems to throw out a comforting glow, 425 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,838 just like a fire. 426 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,791 It must be all the money in there. 427 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,629 Is it really full of money? Of course. Would you like to see? 428 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,273 No, thank you. 429 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:05,200 I don't want to spoil a lovely evening by looking at anything vulgar. 430 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,753 I never ever thought I'd dine out wearing breeches. 431 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,869 Caused quite a stir at the Harborough Arms. 432 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,595 It'll be all round the neighbourhood tomorrow. It's all your fault. 433 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,950 Why wouldn't you let me go home and change? 434 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,673 Ah. 435 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,711 Well, you see, Audrey... 436 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,071 May I call you Audrey? We've known each other quite a while. 437 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,679 Yes, we have. 438 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,869 Perhaps you'd call me Richard. Perhaps. 439 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,516 Well, you see, Audrey... I've got a surprise for you. 440 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,552 Oh, lovely! I adore surprises nice ones, that is. 441 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,318 Where is it? At your place. 442 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,718 It was my mother's idea, but I wanted to give you something to show my esteem, so I did. 443 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,276 And it's at my place? Yes. Shall we stroll across...and see? 444 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,991 Madam, I'm so glad you're back. 445 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,032 Sorry, I should have let you know. Everything all right? 446 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,071 No, madam, I've had a difficult day. 447 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,760 Tell me all about it tomorrow. Where's my surprise? 448 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,791 In here. I tried to stop them, 449 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,036 but Mrs Polouvicka, she threatened me. 450 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,878 What? 451 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,911 She discovered my bell indicator. 452 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:16,910 Oh. 453 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,951 Well, aren't you pleased, Audrey? 454 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,230 You can get the Queen on here now. 455 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,078 Do you realise what you've done? 456 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,396 I'm preserved the nation's heritage. Do you approve? 457 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,510 Approve? 458 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,551 You told me it was genuine Adam. 459 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,830 We can't go chucking away things like that. 460 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,109 I knew it. 461 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,391 I knew you'd spoil my evening by showing me something vulgar. 462 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,149 Vulgar? No, it's a genuine antique, this. You told me so yourself. 463 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,271 I think you're jolly lucky to get it. 464 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,278 You can keep it in trust for future generations. Think of that. 465 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,231 I am, Mr DeVere, I am. 466 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,751 It's a little present to say thank you. You got me a new horse, I got you an old fireplace. 467 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,314 I'm glad you approve, you can have the other one. 468 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,239 What other one? The one I took out of the library. 469 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,193 And behind that was the original Inglenook hearth. 470 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,990 You've never seen anything so beautiful. 471 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,270 I think I might have done, briefly.